Category Archive for ‘motherhood’ at Jasiri

Archive for the 'motherhood' Category

Meeting Mommies at the Library

Published by dara on February 5, 2008 in motherhood. 3 Comments

Yesterday Nia and I took a trip to the library. My intention was to arrive in time for the toddler storytime hour. Didn’t happen. I did however have a wonderful conversation with another mother, and Nia enjoyed doing her speed crawl across the kids section of the library.

What’s so amazing about my life right now is the subject of my conversations. I find myself talking about Nia constantly. I’m pretty certain its annoying to some people. But yesterday me and the other mom, Phaedra, talked constantly about our children…and I don’t think either one of us was annoyed by the other. It was great. We talked about our births (we both used midwives), childcare, breastfeeding, foods we feed our kids, and our careers. She’s a chef, yum! We got around to the subject of Nia’s birthday party, and turns out she makes cakes and decorates them too!

I recently had a bad experience with a bakery. I won’t mention the name of the establishment because I don’t want to give them negative attention. They are actually good, I just didn’t like the vegan cake they made for me. I’m not a vegan, but I know some of the attendees are, so I was attempting to have a cake that all could eat. But it was just not good. Not tasty at all .

Anyway, so this mommy I met makes cakes with fresh ingredients. None of that store-bought crap that seems to have way more (artificial tasting) frosting than cake. So I may have found my cake maker!

Turns out she’s off on Mondays and Tuesdays like me and brings her children to the library every Monday. So this may be our routine now. And maybe Nia will begin to like books, because now she flings them across the room whenever I try to read her one. Goodness knows I hope she grows out of that and eventually enjoys reading!

How Do You Throw an Eco-Friendly Birthday Party?

Published by dara on January 26, 2008 in celebration, environment, green living and motherhood. 11 Comments

Update: Find more eco-friendly ideas at ecofriendlymomma.com

Nia will turn 1 in less than a month and my family says I must throw her a party. So I’ve been planning, but I want to do things a little different. The thought of all the balloons, streamers, wrapping paper, knick-knacks in goodie bags, excessive and un-needed gifts…gives me a headache! So I’ve been researching eco-friendly party ideas so I can have a “green” birthday party for the kiddo. This is what I’m thinking of so far:

Decorations are unnecessary, especially at a 1-year-old’s birthday party. She could care less whether I had pink streamers cascading across the ceiling and walls, or brown paper bags stapled to the walls (by the way, I’m not really gonna do that). So I’ll forgo the fancy directions decorations, they’re just so temporary and then afterwards you’re left with a heaping helping of TRASH!
Disposable eating ware is a must, but styrofoam is a no-no! So I’m turning to Aha-Yes! and their Greener Earth Marketing. They sale plates, bowls, cups, utensils, and drinking straws–made from sugercane pulp, corn, or potato. The products are sturdy, 100% tree free, biodegradable, soak-proof (very important!), and some are even compostable.
As for games, I don’t have a clear-cut gameplan. Do 1-year-olds respond to structured play, or would they just wander around willy-nilly finding the slightest thing that amuses them? I think it’s the latter. But because there will be 2 and 3-year-olds present, I have to come up with some ideas that will keep the older kiddos entertained. Any suggestions?
FOOD. I’m trying not to offer to many sugary sweet options. I’m fairly certain I’ll purchase the bulk of the snack foods from Earth Fare. They have healthier options that are just as good, or better, than the stuff you’ll find at a mainstream grocery store. Of course I’ll have a birthday cake so I can capture the obligatory 1-year-old cake-in-the-face photo .
Sorry USPS, I won’t send paper invitations via snail mail. Instead, I’m using evite.com. It’s faster, cheaper (free, can’t get any cheaper than that), and doesn’t come with the headache of having excess invitations, to either horde with the rest of my clutter or waste by throwing them away.
In lieu of overpriced (MADE IN CHINA) toys, I’ll be asking attendees to do 1 of 3 things (of course optional, folks can bring toys if they want):

Bring a gently used toy that your child has outgrown, or no longer plays with.

Give Nia a book (or books) as a gift. Edward Mckay Used Books has a pretty good selection of cheap children’s books.

Donate a few dollars to a fund, of which I haven’t chosen yet. I’m leaning towards Kiva.org. If I choose to give a loan through Kiva, when the money is paid back, I’ll just use it to loan more money. That way, the gift will keep giving forever.

So these are my ideas for a “green” birthday party. Still in the planning process, so if anyone has ideas I welcome your comments.

Finally, a New Year’s Post!!!

Published by dara on January 14, 2008 in family, goals, motherhood, personal and pics. 2 Comments

We’re 2 weeks into 2008, and I think i’m still gassy from all the black-eyed peas I’ve eaten over the past couple of weeks. Hope my finances don’t suffer this year becuase I didn’t eat the traditional collard greens. I know I had a heaping helping last year, and I’ve never been as broke as I was in 2007. Being broke is no fun, and I vow to never be in that state again.

I feel a headache coming on as I think back on 2007. Coming out of 2006, I was on a high, what a great year! I was driving through a valley in 2007, lots of low points. I felt insane because these low points were often experienced in tandem with joyous moments. Up and down, up and down all year long.

Although 2007 was stressful, back-breaking, extremely tough, the year was one of tremendous growth for me. The biggest lessons: I need to change my thinking, and I need to trust that where I am and what I’m going through is exactly where I need to be and what I need to be experiencing to continue my spiritual and personal growth. Because as I’ve said before, I get better with age. Like a fine wine! And I’m not gonna let a few mishaps or people who don’t have my best interest in mind, derail me on my journey to love and happiness.

No resolutions this year. My primary goal (i left this comment on a MommyDaddyBlog post:

i just want to spend time, quality time with my baby.
*time* is the one thing you can never get back

the past few months of my life have been so hectic. i want to be able to step away from all the stress, and just feel so free in her presence.

just trying to slow things down, and appreciate what’s most important in my life.

So if I stick with this goal, 2008 will be a great year for me, regardless of any outside forces that try to threaten my happiness…and sanity!

Happy New Year to all of the Jasiri readers.

Baby Update: Sign Language And Recent Pics

Published by dara on December 5, 2007 in education, family, motherhood and pics. 3 Comments

Been busy lately, wrapping up with school, starting a new job, and other projects. But primarily, the babe! Whew, she’s a handful…a happy handful . Got some exciting news to report. Nia signed her first word! Yes, I’ve been teaching the little darlin’ sign language, and last week she surprised me by doing the sign for milk. I was so shocked because I didn’t think it would happen this early. I mean, I did begin teaching her around 5-6 months, but it caught me by surprise nonetheless. I can’t take all the credit for her new nonverbal skill. First, I got the idea from my sister who began teaching her daughter at 9-months. Credit also goes to the Signing Time series. Currently, I only have a few taped episodes from the weekly broadcasts on PBS. As soon as I can afford it, I’m purchasing the entire DVD set. Expensive, but worth it! Not only is the series educational in terms of teaching kids sign language, but the creators also incorporate positive messages in the catchy tunes. Like, “Proud To Be Me.” We love that song ’round these parts! Check out the remix below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ornprjjJUOI

New Winter Coat

Published by dara on November 11, 2007 in family, motherhood, nablopomo and pics. 3 Comments

Winter time is steadily approaching and Nia has outgrown her 6-9 month winter jacket. She’s only worn the thing a few times, but it seems every day the squeeze gets tighter and the sleeves shorter. It’s really starting to look ridiculous. Today my mom surprised me with a new coat for her. I new I couldn’t afford one for another couple of weeks, so this made me very happy. It doesn’t look “girly,” but the coat is something I would totally buy. I mean all the pink clothes passed down or purchased for her are really starting to get on my nerves. I’m grateful for it all, but if I see anymore pink clothing I may just puke!

Since the day I brought her home, people have mistaken Nia for a boy. Fair enough. I know when babies are that young they tend to all look the same. When I pierced her ears at 6 months, I thought the “oh, he’s so cute” phrases would cease. Apparently there are many people out there who think it’s common for little infant boys to have both ears pierced. Anyways, I’m gonna bundle my little sweetie up in her nice, new, warm winter coat. And when someone asks, “How old is he?” I’ll just coolly say, “She is 9 months old.”

Getting Beyond The Anger

Published by dara on November 10, 2007 in family, motherhood, nablopomo and personal. 5 Comments

On the first day of NaBloPoMo, I stated that I would primarily focus on the subject of single motherhood for this month. Well, I often struggle with how far I should go when posting about my personal life. Since my blog is not anonymous, I don’t reveal too much. But I’m wondering if there are single mothers (or fathers) reading who can relate to my situation. My story is all too common, and it’s really unfortunate. My daughter’s father does not support her, neither emotionally nor financially. This whole concept is foreign to me (as it pertains to my personal life) because although my parents divorced when I was young, my dad was a central figure in my life. My fondest childhood memories are of outings, road trips, and just fun times in general, had with my daddy. I get my love of nature and music from him; my quirkiness, free-spiritedness and ~~argumentative~~ rebellious personality all come from him. As a little girl, I made him mud pies and he would happily (pretend) gobble them up. He would never get angry when I spit in his trumpet after trying so hard to squeeze out a note. My sisters and I would walk on his back after he returned home from a hard day’s work. And we felt so proud that we were making daddy’s back feel better by massaging it with our teeny little feet. I love my daddy. And even during those difficult years, when there was tension between us, he’s never failed me. He’s always been there for me, even when I didn’t make it easy to be there for. He is my definition of a man. So you can see why I would be so confused. How could a man (or woman) not be available for their child(ren)? More than anything, it is very disappointing. I don’t dwell on this often. Every now and again the hurt bubbles to the surface. But it’s not hurt because of my situation. I am more than capable of providing the love and security that my sweetie needs. I feel pain knowing that she will not have that beautiful father-daughter relationship that I was, and still am, truly blessed to have. Sometimes I get really angry. But time heals all wounds, and with each day I learn to push through the anger and begin to understand it’s his loss, not ours.

me and Big Poppa

I’m A Single Mother…Woe Is Me?

Published by dara on November 5, 2007 in family, motherhood, nablopomo and rant. 8 Comments

Apparently, because I’m a single mother, I’m supposed to be distressed, sorrowful, and full of pain because I don’t have a husband to care and provide for me and my poor, poor child. Yes, that was intended to be read melodramatically. Ok, I’m sorry but I didn’t get the “dejected single mothers” newsletter, so I’ve not been following that script.

This post has been brewing in my mind for some time, and my brain has only just decided to give my fingers the go ahead because of a recent conversation with a friend. This friend, Mike, is also a single parent albeit a single dad. This shouldn’t make a difference, but sadly it does. Mike and I have had numerous conversations about the trials and tribulations of doing the solo parenting thing. We found there’s much that we both relate to. One thing that differs is others’ perception of our respective situations. While I get the “Awww, you’re a single mother,” or “That’s too bad you’re doing it by yourself,” Mike is commended for stepping up and accepting sole responsibility for raising his son.

My two former neighbors, both married SAHMs, would talk to me with such pity in their voices. And they were always trying to give me things, which felt more like charity than plain old heartfelt goodness. I believe they thought I was younger than I really am — like a 19 or 20-year old. Nope. Not me. I’m a 27-year old, college educated, soon to be professional (fingers crossed) woman who happens to also be a single mother. Of course the ideal situation would be to have two stable, married, loving parents — and if we’re talking about ideal then I’ll also throw in: six-figure income, private school, suburban house, white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and little Toto playing in the backyard. Come on, in 2007 families who look like that are slowly becoming the minority. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the aforementioned family type, but I want to highlight how people place so much emphasis on appearance (and of course the double standard with single mothers and fathers). What’s important — what I consider the most important aspects of family — is providing love, time, attention, and education to your children. I’m doing this, and laying the groundwork for a compassionate, honest, critical thinker that I’m hoping my daughter will become. That is what’s important.